Help Your Child to set Goals
I read an article recently that said 92% of people don’t achieve their goals.
How many of them actually learned how to set effective and realistic goals?
How people many gave up when they felt no progress was being made towards that goal? For our students? Goal setting is a critical fundamental skill. It is a life skill that helps them develop tenacity and grit. It is a skill that helps them figure out what they want out of life.
In Martial Arts we love goal setting. Goal setting is fundamental to becoming a martial artist and a tool for achieving more in life!
Some other great reason kids should learn goal setting include –
Taking responsibility for their own behaviors and learning
- They develop an attitude of “I Can Do This!”
- They develop the confidence to know they can achieve their goals.
- They develop the focus and concentration to get through the tough or difficult stuff.
So – How do we do this?
There are several steps involved in goal setting. It’s the WOOP method!
- Wish – A meaningful, challenging, and feasible wish or goal
- Outcome – The best result or feeling from accomplishing your wish
- Obstacle – Something inside of you that prevents you from accomplishing your wish
- Plan – If [obstacle], then I will [effective action]
Let’s go through these in a little more detail
A meaningful, challenging, and feasible wish or goal
Identify your wish or goal. In the School at lot of our student’s goal is to
become a Black Belt. This is first lesson. If that is the goal – in our system it takes Four Years to go from White Belt to Black Belt. That is a long time and 99.9% of the kids would give up early because it is so far off and there is so much to do. First Break it into smaller goals – To earn my Black Belt – First I need to earn my White Belt, then my Yellow Belt. To Earn my White Belt I need to learn Front Kick, Horse Stance, and High Block. To learn Horse Stance – I need to come to class two times a week. Can I come to class two time a week? Yes, I can. Goal Unlocked.
Break your BIG goal into smaller goals. When I walk a mile – I do it one step at a time. Often earning your Black Belt is about achieving your goals one class at a time.
The best result or feeling from accomplishing your wish
How would you feel if you earned your goal? How would it feel to earn a Black belt? Awesome – Right? How about your Gold Belt – Still a pretty awesome feeling? Mastering Horse stance – I bet that felt good.
If you are unfocused remember how achieving the Big Goal will feel. Step back and remember how it felt to get finish one of the smaller goals. Now – how will you feel when you are done with your immediate goal?
Something inside of you that prevents you from accomplishing your wish
What could hold you back from attaining your goal and feeling that best possible outcome?
In Class maybe your tired? You are just too sleepy. Maybe you worry about not being good enough.
If [obstacle], then I will [effective action
What can you do to start overcoming those obstacles? You Plan you work to understand the obstacles in your way and plan out how to get over them? To combat your sleepiness? Go to bed earlier. To defeat your fear of not being good enough, you can ask yourself “what’s the worst that could happen?” or just take a moment to take some slow breaths.
By planning you can help foresee what the obstacles are and what you might need to do to overcome them.
Here are some tips and tricks to help your child successfully achieve their goal.
Write it down!
A written goal is 42% more likely to be achieved then an unwritten goal. Remember an unwritten goal is merely a wish. Write it Down! Look at it often.
Discuss the Purpose of the Goal
Why do they want to achieve this goal? What drives them to do this?
Break it into Smaller Goals.
Earning your Black Belt is a Huge goal! But, the big goal, when seen as a whole, can be intimidating and overwhelming. But, Take that goal and break it into smaller goals. I am going to Earn my Yellow Belt! I am going to run a mile! I will do 20 push ups! Achieving each smaller goal builds progress towards the main goal.
Keep working the goal!
Many times, achieving a goal is about momentum – constant, consistent, and regular work towards the goal. If you stop working on it you can’t move forward.
Take a minute and look how far they’ve come! Emphasize how great it will be when they reach their goal! Review what the next few steps are to get closer to the main goal.
Goals are powerful! They help us to achieve and earn the things we want. They can help us motivate ourselves and our children. Using WOOP, you have a simple, easy to use framework, that will help you and your child achieve anything!
Jim Evins is the Co-Owner and Program Director for Impact Taekwondo. After earning his First Degree Black Belt. He made a leap of faith and bought a Taekwondo school with his wife. A one time IT guy he works daily to made sure that all of Impact’s students have the best experience possible. Jim can be reached via email at [email protected]